Sisters, life isn’t fair—especially when it comes to dating as a returned missionary. You’ve spent 18 months asserting yourself and now you’re supposed to wait for some knucklehead to ask you out. Lame.
You can wait around, or you can try some of these amazing methods for being asked out.
Seven Ways to Prime the Pump
1. Promise to make him cookies but don’t.
How many times have you seen a guy happily accept a dinner invitation and then never give his host the time of day? No more.
By making the cookie offer but never following through, you will make him slightly hungry when he sees you, and give him an excuse to talk to you. If you remember that guys basically think with their stomachs, you’re half way to understanding them.
2. Appeal to his ego. It shouldn’t be hard.
Challenge him to do something outrageous or extreme with you. If you seem game he won’t back down. What self respecting guy wants to be shown up by a girl? Your shared adventure should break down the “I don’t know you barriers.” Another approach would be to show interest in something that he’s into. “Fly fishing, oh I’ve always wanted to try that.”
3. Emphasize the positives of being a returned missionary.
Isn’t everything good about being an RM? Mostly, but there are a couple sticky spots. Don’t worry with the right gloss they can be selling points.
First, guys spent two years telling themselves, “don’t like the sisters, don’t even look at sisters, sisters are bad.” So don’t do anything to remind him that you used to be mission jail-bait. Instead, draw his focus to the positives. For example, if you speak the same mission language, he will dig that.
Second, age difference. Some misguided RMs assume since you’re an RM you must be oldy-moldy. And yes…gasp…sometimes you are older than the guy. This can be easily handled. If you’re close to graduating or are working full time, develop the sugar-momma persona. You can also drop hints that unlike some of the “younger” girls, you aren’t going to ditch him to go on a mission.
4. Hire a consigliere.
Sometimes you need a little help. Have your friend drop hints to his friends that you think he’s cool. Your advisor can coach you on what needs to be done. Make sure to choose someone that won’t betray you by pursuing the guy you’re after.
5. Womanly charms.
Many preach the black arts associated with the physical. Not really what us Mormons emphasize in dating, but we can’t deny using them to a lesser extent. Just remember anything more than a slight arm touch might creep the guy out.
6. Mental powers.
Chances are you’re smarter than most guys you will date. Use it to your advantage. Ask yourself out but make him think he’s asked you out. “Hey wouldn’t it be fun to go to the dance on Friday night?”
7. If all else fails, dress in a lobster costume and do a tap dance.
For some guys it takes the literal two-by-four to the head for him to notice you. If you think it would be nice for a guy to ask you out, talk to him, introduce yourself. Never assume that just because he’s in your ward he knows you or feels comfortable talking to you.
Good luck women. Men are a little slow sometimes but eventually they get it.
If you’re willing to share your secrets for getting asked out, leave a comment.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Honestly, there only a few reasons a guy won’t ask you out. First, he’s just not into you. In that case, become his friend, and show him how awesome you are. The other option is that he just isn’t comfortable talking to you. This could be for a variety of reasons, but you can show him that you aren’t quite as intimidating as he is making you out to be. If he’s looking at you, look over and smile. Turn in his direction a little bit. If you’re bold, give him a little wink. The guy needs to know it’s ok to talk to you. Also, groups of girls scare us. So, every once in awhile, do something alone. Go get a drink or go to the bathroom, or even just take a stroll around the room. The guy is much more likely to come up and talk to you if you aren’t around a group of girls who are going to be watching, and possibly whispering and giggling as he’s talking.
Or . . . she could just ask him out. It’s not against the law for women to ask men out on dates, you know
If a man is intimidated by women who are mature enough to ditch the game-playing and be direct, he’s not worth my time. Or rather, he wasn’t worth my time. I’m married