Girlfriend Advice for RMs

by Aaron

in Dating, Lessons

Returned Missionaries shouldn't treat their girlfriends like investigators.

As a missionary, you got really good at working with investigators—teach, testify and invite. As an RM you’ve been applying the same principles. So should you treat your girlfriend like an investigator? Yes…if your goal is to baptize her. But, if you want a girlfriend instead, remember these guidelines:

  • How big is the teaching pool? Having multiple investigators was a good thing, multiple girlfriends, not so good.
  • She’s heard about the “commitment pattern.” You’re doomed if you try to illicit commitments using robotic sounding requests. What not to say: “Will you go out with me again next week? I know if you do, our future family will be happy.”
  • This sounds bad, but don’t begin and end a date with prayer. She’ll think you’re weird. Pray only at appropriate times—no, it’s not appropriate to pray together to help her feel good about marrying you.
  • Let her lead the discussion. With investigators, you always led the discussion. Sure they had questions but it was your show. Try that on a girl and she may not be home for your next appointment.
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I’ve been tricked into going on many second dates with the commitment pattern!


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